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I came across one of the most HILARIOUS videos I’ve seen in quit some time. It’s a fun and refreshing take on those classic holiday tunes that we all know and are bombarded with at that time of year. Only, the young lady in this video had an unexpected mixup as she prepared to sing along. Notice her reaction once she discovers the error and scrambles to shut the recording off…PRICELESS.
Happy Holidays!
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
Back in 2002 singer Brandy released her third studio album titled Full Moon. It is classically her own, with a blend of up-tempo tracks and ballads that treat the ears to the singer’s husky and raspy vocal prowess. I’ve expressed many times that she is my all-time FAVORITE vocalist and someone who I find to be intoxicatingly talented.
For this installment of The B-Side, I’ve again selected and record from Brandy’s catalog. The song, “He Is” is simply beautiful in sound and lyric. Though taken from a woman’s perspective, it speaks to the heart of anyone who wishes to express their emotion towards a significant other.
I was EXTREMELY disappointed that the song wasn’t released as a single, yet such has been the case for all of Brandy’s albums since Never-Say-Never in the late 90′s. She has consistently put out A-M-A-Z-I-N-G music, yet so-called fans as well as her previous record label have let her down. Consequentially, there have been numerous gems in the form of records like “He Is” that have never been given their proper exposure.
I however, see the beauty in it and all of Brandy’s efforts. Take a listen and be inspired. Enjoy!
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
In October 2011 after weeks of speculation over what was OBVIOUSLY true, singer Jessica Simpson finally confirmed that she and fiance Eric Johnson are expecting a child together.
The soon- to- be mother has taken on a persona the is comparably different from the virginal young girl that we were introduced to when Simpson first hit the scene back in the late 90′s. Though considered just another Brittney Spears clone during the “bubble gum pop” era in music, Jessica Simpson down played sexuality with her strict adherence to saving her virginity for marriage. Even during her high profile relationship with ex-husband Nick Lachey, Simpson maintained her commitment to her belief in honoring God’s standards.
CUT THE CRAP…fast forward six years and Jessica Simpson is now DIVORCED from Nick Lachey and currently expecting a child out of wedlock. Prior to meeting her current flame Simpson was attached to few other notable men including Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and singer John Mayer. Many may recall that shortly after their breakup Mayer publicly commented on Jessica’s sexual prowess and painted the portrait of a vixen that had him spell bound.
Now, as I see various publicity photos that feature Jessica Simpson proudly baring her growing stomach, I wonder how she and other religious followers justify such a predicament. The initial vow was to wait until marriage to have sex, which she did, yet the marriage ended. Afterwards an UNMARRIED Simpson was sexually involved with other men and is now pregnant by a man to whom she is yet to marry. WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT, yea, I said it.
Simpson like many others who share in her FORMER belief, are putting too much emphasis on virginity to the degree that they fail to acknowledge human evolution. As we mature and evolve, so too do our tastes and desires, therefore to believe in the likelihood of maintaining a LIFELONG sexual relationship with the ONE AND ONLY person with whom you’ve even experienced it with is simply FOOLISH and NAIVE.
Seeing Jessica Simpson on public display and in headlines making light of her pregnancy comes as a HYPOCRITICAL slap in the face to the over-idealized religious vow that she held on too for all those years. Yet she certainly isn’t alone as I’m certain that many have fallen victim to the REALITY that is human nature. Though I’ am not condoning excessive promiscuity I do believe that life experience as well as sexual experience go hand-in-hand in an effort to fullying realize one’s identity.
Those who assert that saving oneself until marriage is a godly act, are members of a twisted and unrealistic community of folk that push religion to the brink of reason.
Perhaps even more ridiculously jaded is the pre-RE-marriage ritual of ABC’s The View Co-host Sherri Shepherd. The 44-year-old divorced mother decided that she would abstain from sex during the 11 month courtship with her now husband. Though she has spoken openly about her promiscuity and having had “more abortions than [she] would like to count,” Shepherd credits being “saved” and becoming a Christian with her turn around and consequential beliefs.
I find it rather laughable that a woman of Sherri Shepherd’s age and sexual track record would have the audacity to pretend as if she were a teenage virgin and reframe from sex with the man whom she was engaged to. Though I respect the religious freedom that our country allows, I do believe that many people use it to justified the absurd.
I can’t help but wonder if Shepherd and her husband would have dated for longer than 11 months prior to marrying, had they been sexually active during the process. CLEARLY, neither of them were virgins, therefore holding out on a NATURAL aspect of a relationship is likely to have played a role in such a quick courtship. This isn’t to say that sex is everything, of course there are multiple laws of attraction, BUT, it is highly unrealistic to believe in such religious propaganda.
Again, like the backwards and conflicting way that Jessica Simpson has honored her faith, Sherri Shepherd is also but one of many who have intertwined their faith with an ideology that surpasses the scope of REALITY.
Just one of those things that make you go “Hmmm?”
Thoughts?
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
As President Barack Obama continues to ADMIRABLY navigate the country through its economic, social, and foreign policies he’s repeatedly received criticism from those who act as if unemployment, tax debate, healthcare crisis, and rising gas prices only began to affect Americans once he took the oath of office. Lest we forget that these current issues are IDENTICAL to the ones that President Jimmy Carter inherited from the the Nixon/Ford administration, just as Obama has done by way of previous administration (s). To his critics, the president has failed to deliver, yet DELIVER is EXACTLY what Obama has done and will continue to do well into his NEXT electoral term as PRESIDENT.
I recently read that pop cultural music phenomenon “Lady Gaga” is pushing to add to the President’s already full agenda. An outspoken proponent for human rights, Gaga is asking that President Obama sign into law a bill that would make bullying a HATE crime. Her campaign has received national attention, yet for what I believe is all the wrong reasons.
Though I sympathize with those who are bullied and become the targets of verbal/physical abuse from their peers, I do believe that there is a vast difference between it and what constitutes the label of a hate crime. The two are polar opposites on the spectrum of tolerance and the fact that many are in support of Gaga’s efforts shows that Americans have a grave misunderstanding of HATE and its social implications.
I say this because the most common form of bullying occurs during adolescents and high school; these are formative years during which peer pressure, indecisiveness, and codependence are the norm. Most young people who bully, do so out of a combination of these factors, as well as others, yet HATE isn’t one of them. As I’ve said before, kids can be cruel…ITS HUMAN NATURE. Furthermore, MANY people can relate to growing up and being bullied, talked about, excluded, or the like. Arguably, this is a right of passage if you will, though UNNECESSARY, some might say that standing up to or dealing with a bully helped build their confidence and or character.
HATE on the other hand is LEARNED, cultivated, and passed down through familial and social ties. Some of the most griping images of hate are from the Holocaust and Civil Rights era, when individuals were taught to hate without just cause. As a result hate crimes have historically involved lynching, mass murders in concentration camps, and brutal beatings with details so gruesome that even decades later they still shake us to the core.
It brings to mind the horrific murder of James Byrd Jr. in 1998. A black man, Byrd was beaten, chained to the back of a pick up truck and drug for two miles down a Texas road. Later investigators were able to trace the truck’s path by way of Byrd, Jr.’s body parts and blood trails that were easily mistaken for road kill. His assailants where a group of white men who OBVIOUSLY targeted Byrd because of his race. Though all three of them were found guilty and sentenced to death and or life imprisonment, the murder wasn’t charged as a hate crime, and even today a headline reads, “Black Man Fatally Dragged in a ‘Possible’ Racial Killing.”
Unfortunately this is the current state of our country’s legal/social consciousness. One of disproportion so unjust that lines are often blurred to the degree that a crime such as the one against James Byrd Jr. could ever be mistaken for anything but HATE.
Such crimes aren’t exclusive to race as evident in a case that gave a name and face to hatred against gays/lesbians. In 1999 Matthew Shepard, a then 21-year-old student in Wyoming, was befriended by two men claiming to also be gay. After meeting Shepard at a bar they offered to give him a ride home only to drive to a remote area and proceed to pistol whip and torture him before tying Matthew Shepard to a fence and leaving him to die. Shepard was discovered 18 hours later by a cyclist who initially mistook his lifeless body for a scarecrow.
Shepard sustained massive trauma including severe brain-stem damage, which affected his body’s ability to regulate heart rate, body temperature, and other vital functions. He would never regain consciousness and remain on life support for six days before being pronounced dead.
Matthew Shepard’s brutal murder was an unfortunate awakening to the reality of our country’s long standing intolerance towards homosexuality. The case brought national and international attention to the contention of hate crime legislation at the state and federal levels. Yet it would take ELEVEN years before The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act would be passed and signed into law. After over a decade and TWO presidents the bill, which extends protections for gays/lesbians/trans-genders was signed into law by non-other than President Barack Obama on October 28, 2009.
The murders of Mathew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. are far from isolated, and represent the extremist behavior acted out upon those whom are the targets of hate. These two men as well as other faceless victims were NOT bullied, just as the fat kid that gets picked on in junior high is NOT a victim of a hate crime.
It is important to identify the CLEAR distinction between what is/isn’t an act of hate, before making sweeping generalizations without understanding the historical context. Yet Lady Gaga has miseducated herself and likewise is contributing to the miseducation of others by attempting to use her fame and influence to inaccurately place a POWERFUL label on behavior that is at best a juvenile character flaw. It’s as if she’s trying to rewrite and otherwise challenge history by suggesting that acts of bullying are in anyway associated with hate crimes.
Take for instance, the most recent form of bullying that has gained national attention due the popularity of social media. Alleged “victims” of a phenomenon known as “Cyber-bullying” have had their Facebook and Myspace pages flooded with threatening messages, and derogatory names. Likewise, bullies have also used text messaging and email as their weapons of choice to taught, ridicule, and threaten their targets.
Consider the DISSIMILARITIES between the aforementioned REAL crimes of hate compared to acts of bullying that involves either sitting in front of one’s computer and sending mean spirited threats or being on the receiving end of them. Both Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. would likely both be alive if they were victims of bullying as apposed to the latter.
The absurdity involved in suggesting that bullying be considered a hate crime is further supported by simple common sense. The behavior in question is by and large adolescent and therefore I find it hard to believe that a 12-old-year old kid is bullying someone because they HATE them. Their age and inexperience make it difficult to form an understanding and likewise a type of judgement that is found in older adults who commit hate crimes.
The same applies to situations where youths are ostracized and called names like “faggot” and “homo.” Those who use such language are conformists to a SOCIAL STIGMA; one that portrays homosexuality as taboo and something to be ashamed of. Youngsters internalize this and other socially slandered labels in such a way that bullying/name calling becomes their method of distancing themselves from its association. Not to mention the fact that they’re just being dumb kids that gang up on their seemingly defenseless peers.
Yet according to Lady Gaga these individuals should be bound to the same classification as white supremacists and inbred children and grandchildren with long familial lines of hatred. It is ill-thought and unwarranted to place bullying and hate crimes under the same umbrella; equally troubling is knowing that Gaga is pushing her agenda in the direction of the President who has WORLDLY issues of growing proportions to address.
Quite frankly, the debate over bullying DOES NOT warrant EXECUTIVE government attention. It is a COMMUNAL and PARENTAL level issue that is best handled in the home for starters, and brought to the attention of school, community and town hall officials by way of PTA meetings, etc. If, as the saying goes, “it takes a village,” then that same village or community must take accountability for the structure or lack there of, with regards to the way its residents coexist. I’m so fed up with Americans placing blame on our President for issues that WE and our egos are responsible for.
I feel that Lady Gaga’s fame and millions of Twitter fans have caused her to misjudge and misinterpret whatever influence she THINKS that she has. Perhaps Gaga should put the same amount of effort into understanding the difference between historical HATE and juvenile angst as she does with her performance art.
Thoughts?
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
On the morning of June 26, 2011, a group of Southern white teenagers led by 18-year-old Deryl Dedmon sought out a African-American for the sole purpose of committing a gruesome crime of HATE. “Let’s go fuck with some niggers,” Dedmon told his accomplices before heading out on a mission that would end in one man’s heartless death.
The victim was James Craig Anderson, 49, of Jackson, Mississippi who was beaten before being run over by a pickup truck that Dedmon was driving. The murder was captured by a hotel surveillance which shows Anderson like a deer in headlights as he is run down and left for dead.
Equally troublesome is that in the wake of the crime only two of those involved have been formally charged. According to reports there were two car loads of teenagers that drove to Jackson with the intension of hurting the first “black” person that they encountered. The surveillance video even captured multiple suspects assaulting the victim and yelling “white power.”
After Anderson was beaten, one group of teens left, but the driver of the second vehicle (Deryl Dedmon) had his own plan in mind. He climbed into his green Ford F-250, along with his female passengers, and drove it over Anderson as he stumbled along the road helplessly. He died instantly.
Despite multiple individuals taking part in the attack, only Dedom faces murder charges while another teen, John Aaron Rice was slapped on the hand with simple assault. When I first learned of this I recalled watching a documentary that featured a young man serving a life sentence for his involvement in a murder. Though he had no contact with the victim, according to laws in his home state of Louisiana, simply being present and accompanying the assailants are what warranted his punishment.
The murder of James Craig Anderson is no different and therefore those present and who at the time did nothing to prevent the crime should also be held accountable. Particularly the two teenage girls who were with Dedmon inside his truck. A detective involved with the case has testified that one of the girls first told police that it was an accident and that Dedmon tried to go around the victim, but she later changed her story.
Her LIES to try and cover up an intentional murder are further implication of guilt on her behalf as well as that of ALL of those present, regardless of which vehicle they were in.
The incident has received national attention, yet in my opinion, NOT ENOUGH, especially from civil rights leaders who have the resources to raise increased awareness. I’ve previously expressed my views over the use of the “race card,” particular regarding when it is/isn’t necessary to make such a claim. This would be one of the situation where race DEFINITELY played a factor and consequentially warrants action on the the part of high profile crusaders for social justice.
My frustration and disappointment comes from the lack of critical attention given to the case. I’ve often stated that the African-American community and its leaders are quick to waste time and resources crying wolf and asserting the race card over issues that are unfounded, miniscule, and not worth the time. Yet when a matter does arise that is more than worthy of championing, it goes considerably beneath the radar.
I’ve read about and seen several instances in the media where actions are labeled “racist” and thought it weak and impulsive of those who found it necessary make such claims. It’s become to the norm to make these types of assumptions, so much so that it seems to take the power and MEANING out of what history has defined as racism.
The killing of James Craig Anderson is an example of the kind of “racism” that should be receiving national attention, yet those who normally lend their voices to less threatening civil rights transgressions are now missing in action.
Thoughts?
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
Angela Bassett’s theater/film/television career spans over twenty-five years. The Harlem born, Yale University educated beauty first appeared on stage in 1985 and since then has amassed a resume of extremely impressive performances. Over the years, her genius has repeatedly revealed itself in biographical projects whereby Bassett portrays powerful women. From her role as Civil Rights pioneer Rosa Parks to Betty Shabazz, the widow of the late Malcom X, Angela Bassett has shown her ability to completely loose herself in character.
Despite a lengthy list of credits to her name, for me Angela Bassett will FOREVER be remembered and revered for her SPOT ON portrayal of singer Tina Turner, in the 1993 film What’s Love Got to Do with It. I was a teenager when the film opened, yet even then remember thinking how amazing she was. Taking on the lead role in a biopic can be a slippery slop for an actor given that their success is measured in the authenticity and believability of their portrayal.
Angela Bassett far exceeded expectations, becoming the legendary singer in such a way that left audiences transfixed. I for one can recall watching the film and forgetting that it was Bassett and not the actual Tina Turner. The physical transformation alone was a laudable achievement as the singer’s signature choreography and songs were executed to mesmerizing perfection by Bassett.
Yet as those who saw the film will note, the life of Tina Turner hasn’t been all sequence dresses and bright stage lights. Just as seamlessly as Angela Bassett embodied her stage persona, she also recreated some of the most brutal instances in Turner’s life away from the microphone. POWERFUL is the only way to describe those scenes in the film whereby Angela Bassett evokes the horror, pain, and ultimate triumph over the circumstances in Tina Turner’s life and marriage. Her performance was truly ground-breaking and perhaps the first of its kind for an African-American actress and film.
The accolades followed in droves including a nomination and win at the 1994 Golden Globes for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture- Comedy/Musical. Yet the film was NOT a musical and certainly not a comedy; What’s Love Got to Do with It was and is a drama featuring Angela Bassett’s fiercely DRAMATIC role portraying the life of Tina Turner who happens to be a singer. The Golden Globes divide their categories between supposed genres and therefore used this as a tactic to deny Angela Bassett the recognition she DESERVED for her LEAD DRAMATIC ROLE.
The Golden Globes precede and often predict the outcome of the Academy Awards which saw Angela Bassett ROBBED of a win for Best Actress despite a nomination. In my lifetime of watching awards shows, long before Halle Berry, it should have been Angela Bassett listed as the first African-American actress to hold the distinction. Yet at the time it was still unfavorable and seeing black actors in such a light was few and far between. Though Bassett received the honor at the NAACP Image Awards, let’s be truthful, in the Hollywood realm that isn’t a resume booster.
Since then Angela Bassett’s body of work hasn’t at all diminished despite the lack of visibility she hold’s in the A-list category. It’s unfortunate that media friendly actresses and their forgettable performances often take precedent over seasoned talents with a real presence. Yet such is the truth, therefore I applaud individuals like Tyler Perry who go against the grain and create roles and projects in a proactively consistent fashion.
The timeless quality that Angela Bassett brings to acting is only matched by her intelligence and beauty. I, as do many others are witnessing a legendary career in the making as each project she’s attached to bares a seal of authenticity.
R&B Group Dru Hill rose to fame during the late 1990′s with hits like “Never Make a Promise” and “How Deep Is Your Love.” Yet fast forward to the present and all that remains is a shell of their former glory in the form of a musical catalog that’s sure to evoke memories.
At the height of their success the group out of Baltimore Maryland was selling millions of records and had become that generations’ Temptations. Yet ego and inner group conflict eventually weighed too heavy and lead to irreparable trouble. Prior to their indefinite break up, lead singer Sisqo embarked on successful solo career with the release of his debut Unleash the Dragon. The album spawn the single “The Thong Song” a novelty record which hit #1 in the Spring of 2000, the song was EVERYWHERE as a commercial and crossover hit and exposed Sisqo to a wider audience.
I’ve always believed that Sisqo is one of the BEST male singers of all time and his duet ”Beautiful Ones” with Mariah Carey from her 1997 Butterfly LP is my ALL TIME FAVORITE of the genre.
Yet his individual success seemingly interfered with what was initially a group effort and by 2005 the original members had gone their separate ways. The song “Beauty” off of the groups’ 1998 album Enter the Dru, dates back to the early days of the their career when they were less jaded by the trapping of fame. The song is written to PERFECTION, complete with personification that only the musically and grammatically inclined would appreciate.
“Beauty” is a timeless love song, yet didn’t get the recognition and airplay it should have. It’s unfortunate because the song had strong potential and over a decade later still has playlist appeal. While listening to it online I noticed a few viewer comments that best sum of the the song’s place in music history:
“This was me and my girlfriend song back in school. Now she is my wife of 6 years. LOL. And we still love this song. Brings back memories when I used to sing this to her.”
I second that that notion, and am delighted to bring “Beauty” to The B-Side. Enjoy!
In July 2011, G-List “celebrities” Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo wed after several years as a couple. The news came as no major surprise given their history together, yet for a matter of seconds I was shocked to learn that their wedding planning and the actual nuptial were documented for an upcoming special on TLC.
It instantly made me think of the phenomenon that was Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica, the highly popular MTV reality series that followed the couple during the early years of the marriage. The show ran for three seasons (2003- 05) and introduced and new, profitable, and much copied genre of reality television. Who can forget Jessica’s classic “ditzy blonde” appeal (“Chicken of the Sea”) which was balanced by her husband Nick’s calm, caring, and rational demeanor. The duo became a pop-culture phenomenon and saw marketing GOLD as millions of viewers fell in love with their on and off camera personas.
Yet soon, in Hollywood fashion, the marriage was cancelled when in 2005 the couple announced their separation and eventual divorce after three years. Since then Jessica has had a string of high profile relationships with the likes of Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo, singer John Mayer, and is currently engaged to former NFL QB player Eric Johnson. Nick however has hung steady with Vanessa Minnillo maintaining a considerably low profile in comparison to the PRODUCTION that was his and Jessica’s relationship.
That was until promos for “Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding,” began running a few weeks ago and I realized that the couple had given in to their inner FAME WHORE. My initial reaction to the idea of the show was “WHO CARES?” Though Nick Lachey has enjoyed reasonable success as a television host, his “*celebrity” is no where near the level that is was during his days with Jesssica Simpson. Many recall his role as lead singer of the 3rd rate pop group 98 Degrees, which never attained the popularity of NSYNC or The Backstreet Boys. Were it not for “Nick & Jessica” and the explosion of interest in the reality genre during the early 00′s, Nick Lachey’s mediocre star would have dimmed a decade ago.
As for Vanessa Minnillo, with regards to Hollywood and celebrity I believe she is as relevant as the crew workers who roll out the red carpet for the awards shows. The former “*beauty queen,” is best remembered for her gig as an MTV VJ and perhaps the B-movies that went straight to video. It’s been confirmed that in the fall of 2011 Minnillo will again assume hosting duties, this time for ABC’s Wipeout.
I’d like to believe that the upcoming wedding special is an attempt to ELEVATE her status, as surely Minnillo doesn’t believe that she is recognizable enough to attract an audience of fans with genuine interest in her world. Regardless of the motive it is an ill-advised move on the part of Nick Lachey who is once again inviting cameras into what should remain PRIVATE considering the outcome of his last relationship with Jessica Simpson. It is recycling, HOLLYWOOD STYLE, a tacky choice in light of the fact that Nick’s previous wedding and relationship was documented for television only to end in divorce. Now, through the magic of television Nick has traded in his buxom blonde for a slightly Asian inspired brunette and laughing and speaking ever so lovingly in front of cameras as if Jessica Simpson and 2003-05 never existed.
I realize that with marriage comes the likelihood of divorce, yet to have one’s first marriage play out for millions of people in such a sensationalized fashion and seek similar attention a SECOND time around, begs the question of what the true intent is. I’m sure that somewhere there are fans that literally bought into the “Nick & Jessica” facade who are now screaming curses as they clutch their Season One DVD!
Thoughts?
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
MOTHERHOOD DELETED: The Creation of Adoption’s False Reality
Though I consider myself very liberal with regards to my worldly views, there is an issue which in recent years has made me think rather differently. That issue is adoption, the cause of what I believe to be an ever expanding hole in our social consciousness. I say this because of the alleged moral compass that leads many to believe that giving a child up for adoption is justifiable. For me, it is a social fallacy of epic proportion that continues to corrupt one’s better judgement and erode the foundation of our familial and genetic TRUTHS.
Rather it be a teenage couple full of inexperience or the single woman with no support, circumstances for adoption very from person to person yet all share a common thread. That is the creation of a false reality in which the child is unfortunately placed. FALSE in the sense that anywhere other than with the parents who gave them life simply isn’t home. Excuses run deep, yet nothing upsets me more than the notion of wanting the child to have a better life. It is to me a subconscious mind game parents play with themselves, trying to soften the hard reality of their decision.
Regardless of the love and stability received from those who raise them, children of adoption often harbor resentment and confusion well into adulthood. What may follow are feelings of inadequacy as well the human need for answers about one’s PARENTS, and why they were given up to begin with. It’s like a temporary repair to a leaky faucet, eventually an out-pour will erupt. In the meantime, all is thought to be well, as mom and dad look to the next chapter, yet do so after having given away a vital piece of their life’s puzzle.
Such is the case in the MTV documentary series “Teen Mom” which chronicles the lives of groups of young parents, a pair of whom are involved in what is known as a semi-open adoption. Through this type of arrangement the “birth parent(s)” are given scheduled updates (pictures, video) of their child’s progress as well as annual visits. It struck a nerve with me as I watched the parents basically live separate lives apart from their infant daughter in what at best is a matter of convenience. They’d constantly refer to the child and their choice to give her up as if it were something to be proud of, a TOTAL misconception on their part.
Seeing their interaction and the reality they’ve created which is void of parental accountability, makes it painfully clear to me just how much of a disconnect there is in our society with regards to this issue. The term, “birth” mom/dad is perhaps the DUMBEST infraction of the English language, yet is indicative of adoption’s impact on the culture. Parents aren’t designated, nor should there be a preface for a title that is naturally associated with having children. Yet part of adoption’s facade involves creating these suggestive roles (“birth mom”) in conjunction with the misguided belief that the life of a child given up by its parents could ever be considered whole.
I firmly believe that regardless of the age, experience level, or financial status of parents, their child DESERVES the natural upbringing that only they can provide. For these individuals, providing a stable environment is often a factor in choosing adoption, to which I question the integrity of their own family. Parents of teenagers especially who are in agreement with their decision to give up a child goes against everything that PARENTING should represent. There is a reason why it is such a difficult responsibility, one in which certain situations call for unity and support rather than early dismissal.
The challenges involved with an unplanned/teen pregnancy are indeed unenviable, yet they are DOABLE. Having young, able-bodied individuals throw in the towel and give their child to someone else to raise as their own is a travesty. I realize that there are those who want to finish high school, attend college, etc., to which their parents/family should step in and assist. Many parents fail to realize or simply ignore the fact that even though their young son or daughter finds themselves in an adult situation, they (the parents) aren’t exempt from the burden of responsibility.
Such is the case as shown in the aforementioned documentary series. Rather than calling on the support of their parents and family a young couple takes the easy way out of a situation that THEY put themselves in. I find it sad that parents condone and often encourage adoption; doing so when the natural instinct should be to recognize that even in the face of such an obstacle THEIR job as parent is called upon even more so.
Equally troublesome is watching the relationship that this couple develops with their child and its adoptive parents. It is a most twisted and unfavorable type of arrangement whereby infrequent photographs and annual visits take the place of a concrete bond between a child and those who gave them life. Yet there is a sense of validation gained, the teens going so far as to applaud themselves for supposedly given their child a better life. Most heartbreaking was the affection the child showed towards them, almost as if she sensed their natural connection, only to have them part ways and assume separate lives.
For the teen couple it is a young life of experiences to be had and firsts to commemorate that they return turn to. One in which certainly could and should have been lived with their daughter. It angered me to see them continue on despite having given a human life away as if it were a material possession. Despite claims that both wanted to finish high school, even after the child had been given up, NEITHER one of them graduated. It gives further reason to question this and other situations where adoption is used as an EXCUSE to escape reality; one that more often than not, has painful consequences for the innocent.
There’s a discrepancy between the phrase “giving up” and “placing” a child for adoption, the latter of which is more favored. In REALITY, you “place” items in certain locations, yet when you give birth to a baby and sign away parental rights you are “giving up” on lives that are supposed to be lived together.
Life nor raising a child comes without hardship. It brings to mind the poignant lyrics of a song which I’m sure that if they could, the voiceless children given up for adoption would say with regards to their parents:
“I’d rather live in [their] world, than live without [them] in mine.”
Rather than become a victim of a false reality created by a jaded culture, I’d rather see parents go through life’s ups and down with their children, move mountains for them, and lead by example. That’s what builds character and ultimately speaks volumes to the amount of love that exists.
The fact is that regardless of the circumstance, when you become a parent your child comes FIRST. For those unfamiliar with doing so, their job is to get about the business of learning.
I liken my opinion to a Conservative’s view on homosexually (which I DISSAGREE with). Only mine is supported by one’s birth right as apposed challenging HUMAN NATURE.
Thoughts?
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-
I first heard the poem titled “In and Out of Time” in a scene from Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion and it has been a part of my consciousness ever since. Written and delivered seamlessly by Maya Angelou, the words are emphatically indicative of what true love should be and was appropriately chosen for a wedding scene in the film.
Tyler Perry’s critiques are quick to dismiss his work as racially transgressive, yet I have always thought differently for reasons like the inclusion of this most powerful artistic expression. It is truly a moving and linguistically enchanted piece. Enjoy!
Thoughts?
THE DIALOGUE BOX, Come join minds like yours.
-RLG-